Avoiding the first post

By June 15, 2007 language No Comments

Hi, my name is Erin, and I’m first-time blogger.

Now that that is out of the way . . .

This blog has been in existence for just a few days now. I’ve been busy creating the structure, filling the pages a bit. But no entries, until now. Funny, seeing as this was the point.

So I admit it: I’ve avoided the first post.

I feel rather timid as a first-time blogger, even though I am a writer. It’s one thing to write with the some-day goal of allowing others to take a peek. But blogging is so . . . immediate. Once written and posted, it is immediately available for the world to see. And read. And respond to. Ugh. There is security in writing for someday.

To calm myself, I reason that I should take this blogging lightly, to soothe some fears I have of what could come from posting my interior life for the world to read. Maybe no one will read it anyhow. And even if people read it, it will soon be forgotten and surpassed.

The consolation is rapid turnover. Within moments, seconds even, other messages will be posted to distract and force forgetfulness. This is a comfort. Attention spans are short, I tell myself. Certainly people will find more interesting pages to focus upon. And that is also my sorrow, for why do I send out these messages if not to be heard, if not to make some lasting mark on the world?

These soothe only on the surface, for deep within I know my thoughts and words are known for all time by the One whose memory is infinite. He cares what’s going on in my interior world, even if I don’t post it here. My God knows my thoughts from afar, even before they are on my lips or on my blog.

No, the things of heart and soul and mind cannot be taken lightly. They are precious. And  so I will be mindful of what is posted here, making this a sort of sanctuary where the truth of who I am can be held suspended in this strange space.

I like the weight of words hanging in cyberspace. Each letter forms a chain, a word, a sentence, a paragraph, a story. What is blogging but the holding of one’s story for the world to see, draped against the backdrop of technology?

I am glad to be here. New or not, here I come.

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